The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
