I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
