Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
