the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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