had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
