We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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