my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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