I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
