apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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