At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
