I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's shark week go big or go home
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
