don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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