matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We're too hungover to prance.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
