New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
