If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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