I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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