Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
