I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
