we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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