Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
