The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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