Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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