i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize