I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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