I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
