i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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