When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
