Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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