so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
And then he peed in my hair
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