In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
