You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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