I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
