So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
