What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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