apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
