Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
