i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
