I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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