Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
