That's intense
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
