oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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