Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
this will be a night to untag.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
