why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
