I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
