You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
