She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
