i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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