You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
