I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
