Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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