You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just had sex bonerless
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
