Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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