You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
