I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
